Islam gives weight to the consent of both bride and groom, and parents have no right to force an adult child to marry against his or her will, Islamic scholars say. A report in RTV Online's religion section sets out the hadith and scholars' views on the question.
On the importance of marriage, a narration in Sahih Bukhari (hadith 5066) records the Prophet (peace be upon him) urging young people who can afford it to marry. Islam sets no particular day or date for a wedding, but the proposal (ijab), acceptance (qabul) and witnesses are required.
The guidance on a woman's consent is clear. In a hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah, the Prophet said a previously married woman may not be married without her agreement and a virgin not without her permission, her silence being her consent (Sahih Bukhari, hadith 5136). Khansa bint Khidam al-Ansariyyah said her father married her off without her permission; she complained to the Prophet, who annulled the marriage (Sahih Bukhari, hadith 5138).
In a narration in Ibn Majah (hadith 1874), a woman complained that her father had married her to his nephew to raise his own standing. The Prophet left the decision to her. She then accepted her father's choice, but said her aim was for women to know that a father has no right to decide a marriage on his own.
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah wrote that parents should not marry their son to a woman he does not want, and that a son who refuses such a marriage is not to be counted disobedient (Majmu al-Fatawa, vol 32, p 30). Answering a question, Shaykh Ahmadullah said marrying off a child without consent is not permissible in Islam; if parents try to impose an unsuitable match, the child should make his or her position clear, and it is the parents' duty to hear the child's fair wishes.
The report concludes that Islam values honouring and treating parents well, and also values an adult child's consent in a decision as weighty as marriage, so deciding through family discussion and understanding rather than force is in keeping with Islamic teaching. The report is from RTV Online.
Source: RTV Online
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